I need some relationship advice. I suggested 125% but my wife won’t budge from 10%. Is this normal? How did it go when you had this conversation with your romantic partner?
I need some relationship advice. I suggested 125% but my wife won’t budge from 10%. Is this normal? How did it go when you had this conversation with your romantic partner?
Why are you the voice of my insecurities? :p
Clearly it’s because I’m another dedicated player for the polycule tabletop game.
Not sure where that 75% number is coming from?
Sorry, I didn’t mean to poke at your anxieties! I was remarking on the arbitrary nature of the original post.
While you’re probably right that Eliezer is open to dating poly people, the post in question definitely appears to take a monogamous stance—that is, the question of whether to exchange one person for another of “higher value.”
Saying that you’re cool if
is different from
which is what the original post said.
My partners bring a lot to our relationships. I find it a lot harder to understand what they see in me.
My sense is that he is talking about the modal relationship in our society, that is mono, and in which my understanding is that people often (I would say at least 10% of the time?) do in fact have the “trading up” nature. That being the case, I think it’s better for the participants in a relationship to be aware of that, and at what threshold to expect it? Having a moderately awkward discussion early on seems better than the heartbreak later.
This is coming from a very ask / tell culture perspective. I’m autistic enough (diagnosed, not slang / common use) that guess culture / relationships as imperfect information games is a distinctly negative experience. I don’t find any “magic” in not considering bad outcomes or pretending that potential futures don’t exist (the “happily ever after” expectation) or in leaving things unsaid.
It’s from the image post.
Ah, the last section. Not incredibly relevant to my post?
On the whole I don’t really model an average of the polycule as a general thing. If dating someone I’m not currently would make me happier I talk to my partners about the possibility of a relationship. Thus far this has never gone in an either / or direction; it doing so would be a significant reduction in expected happiness.
Unrelatedly, that paragraph drove my autocorrect / suggester absolutely stupid. It kept trying to shove “def” into the last sentence, and suggesting other nonsense.