Right exactly - to me, having sexual preference (as a male) for other males, is just a “preference,” not a lifestyle as you say. I mean I did have hetero sex up until my mid-20s, and then it all changed. So it’s not like I don’t find females attractive or have desires for them, but they aren’t my primary “preference.”
And I like your definition of Lifestyle being a choice, while attraction isn’t. I agree with that totally. But I think there is always some element of choice involved in deciding to live a certain way, as flamoyantly out of the closet, or in your face about being gay, or being closeted, or just being neutral…and much of the choice comes from how you honestly feel about yourself.
I’m not a homophobe at all, I’m glad you could see that. I mean I’m gay but it’s always been to me, a huge blessing and I’ve always tried to encourage others to see it that way. However - I am very open about discussing issues about gayness, and sometimes that comes across as being somehow anti-gay or not fully accepting. And I hope that is not how I come across.
You’re not wrong about being out or closeted both being a lifestyle choice, I hadn’t really thought of it that way. I initially thought you were conflating being gay with engaging with gay culture, which wasn’t what was going on. Sorry if I came across as aggressive earlier, there’s def nothing wrong with talking about gay stuff :3
Actually to me I don’t really see why people conflate being gay with gay culture - although I guess it’s obvious that they would, it just doesn’t always apply to most people. For me, anyway, being homo attracted means just that - it’s just what my sexuality is, not what I do with my free time (I mean I don’t seek out movies or books or beaches or bars that are gay, but that’s just me).
I have friends whose whole lives are built around their same-sex attraction, who dress flamboyantly and do the whole rainbow decor thing and always want to go do a gay-oriented thing when we go out. I’m fine with that, but it seems like those of us who just want to lead a very boring “not in your face” life don’t get the same kind of respect.
Anyway thanks for the feedback and responses. I think we’re really on the same wavelength, maybe I could have worded my initial statement more clearly.
Right exactly - to me, having sexual preference (as a male) for other males, is just a “preference,” not a lifestyle as you say. I mean I did have hetero sex up until my mid-20s, and then it all changed. So it’s not like I don’t find females attractive or have desires for them, but they aren’t my primary “preference.”
And I like your definition of Lifestyle being a choice, while attraction isn’t. I agree with that totally. But I think there is always some element of choice involved in deciding to live a certain way, as flamoyantly out of the closet, or in your face about being gay, or being closeted, or just being neutral…and much of the choice comes from how you honestly feel about yourself.
I’m not a homophobe at all, I’m glad you could see that. I mean I’m gay but it’s always been to me, a huge blessing and I’ve always tried to encourage others to see it that way. However - I am very open about discussing issues about gayness, and sometimes that comes across as being somehow anti-gay or not fully accepting. And I hope that is not how I come across.
You’re not wrong about being out or closeted both being a lifestyle choice, I hadn’t really thought of it that way. I initially thought you were conflating being gay with engaging with gay culture, which wasn’t what was going on. Sorry if I came across as aggressive earlier, there’s def nothing wrong with talking about gay stuff :3
Actually to me I don’t really see why people conflate being gay with gay culture - although I guess it’s obvious that they would, it just doesn’t always apply to most people. For me, anyway, being homo attracted means just that - it’s just what my sexuality is, not what I do with my free time (I mean I don’t seek out movies or books or beaches or bars that are gay, but that’s just me).
I have friends whose whole lives are built around their same-sex attraction, who dress flamboyantly and do the whole rainbow decor thing and always want to go do a gay-oriented thing when we go out. I’m fine with that, but it seems like those of us who just want to lead a very boring “not in your face” life don’t get the same kind of respect.
Anyway thanks for the feedback and responses. I think we’re really on the same wavelength, maybe I could have worded my initial statement more clearly.