• Zink@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’ve gotten decent at this, but it has taken years of practicing the skill, plus trying various medications. Not to mention a couple of job losses during covid.

    The fun combo of adhd and anxiety made this a necessity if I wanted to generally enjoy life.

    The ability to not worry about shit sounds simple, but it is much easier said than done. It’s like a muscle that you have to exercise and build up.

    Here are the elevator pitched for three topics that helped me:

    Mediation/mindfulness: I listened to some Buddhist talks, and liked the way some of them explained focusing on your breath and stepping back to observe your own emotions without embracing those feelings at the time. And you have compassion for yourself, and not judge things negatively. Just observe what is. It’s something you can practice at any time, and the more you do it, the more you can stay in that state while doing other things. There is also a big component of controlling your desires, because those are often a big component of suffering.

    Philosophy: around the same time, I was reading stoic philosophy. Marcus Aurelius is the big name there. The bottom line is that regardless of what happens to you, the way that you internally process it and react to it is what really determines how it affects your life & mental state. So with practice, time, and sometimes medication, you are more and more in control of your mental state and how things affect you.

    Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): The world around you is what it is, so instead of worrying about things you can’t control, you accept the true state of things and then filter that through your personal values to decide how to act.

    Some common themes here, to be sure. Along with being able to better control your thoughts and emotions, it’s about finding contentment and tranquility in whatever your life looks like. Not because everything is great, but because your mental state is much more important than reacting how you “should” react.

    • Paradachshund@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      I just wanted to say I appreciate the way you wrote this and didn’t hide the fact it’s taken you a lot of work, and is an ongoing practice. I see these types of things get suggested far too often without that context. “Just meditate” really takes away from how much discipline over years or a lifetime it takes. There’s nothing easy or quick about it, and it takes a lot of courage to keep it up.

      • Zink@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        Thanks, I appreciate your reply!

        And yeah, I guess it’s easy to gloss over the ongoing nature sometimes. People think “how do I fix myself” but there isn’t ever a fix. There are incremental improvements as long as you’re working at it. But then one day, you look back and realize it has accumulated into a big difference.