Monkey’s paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis
Monkey’s paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis
But I can still keep the dinosaur, right?
Xande: oh HELL no
Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us
“You guys are still staffing window 1?”
I’m sorry your ice cream doesn’t have any sugar in it
If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that’s not your girl
12/10
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
Normalize constructing an ominous orb completely out of obsidian and placing it in the San Francisco Bay.
How the hell are you supposed to exit that?
Similar to hump-catting
Harambe’s death was the nexus connecting all timelines
I’ve found my people
Apparently I spin clockwise in bed because my pajamas are always all the way to the left when I wake up
Illuminati confirmed
Powerthirst is also crystal meth
If it makes you feel any better that horse wasn’t the one that killed him