This feels tantalizingly close to the truth.

What the fuck are “unregretted user minutes”? I regret every minute any user spends on that site, so it should be zero.

You’re asking this in a community that’s specifically about doing piracy. Pretty hard to take your question seriously in this context.

Because as a society we’ve forgotten how to throw bricks at bad people

Of course you understand some dog barks, you just don’t think about it because humans process language innately, we have specialized brain structures for it.

I’ll bet you can recognize “I see a threat” and 'I’m in pain" when you hear them. Maybe even distinguish them from “happy excitement”

This thing’s been around since the 70’s. I think any generation would recognize it.

Literally still better than what he actually did

Ideas for the new logo? I think he should go with a black-red motif, with lots of right angles.

Ah, 25 million per child? Finally a fine big enough to make a tech company feel conseque–

[Touches earpiece] one moment, I’m getting an update–

damn, zing

Bro I wasn’t looking for a technical explanation. I know how they work. We made computers worse. The thing isn’t even smart enough to say “I wasn’t designed to do math problems, perhaps we should focus on something where I can make up a bunch of research papers out of thin air?”

Why is “98%” supposed to sound good? We made a computer that can’t do math good

makes sense, thanks!

I don’t get this one, what’s the hol up

Not even inbreeding, strictly speaking, when you go back that far. At 12 generations back you’ve got lots of ancestors with common ancestors, but they aren’t so closely related that conceiving a child between them would be incest. Doesn’t have to be siblings; very distant cousins would also reduce the number of total ancestors. They need not even have known their relation to one another.

I think it’s fair to include jizz blown into your 12 generations of grandmas prior to your conception, though, because that cum was necessary to eventually lead to you being born. Scientifically speaking I think we’re talking about all the man mayo that went into your grandma’s hoochie coochie prior to your conception, but excluding any baby batter that went into the making of your previous older sibling. So we’re only counting the clam sauce that led directly to you, not any of your siblings or any other combination of parents.

Movie studios: “This is definitely the most important thing we have to deal with right now”

I know you mean like drinking and dancing, but in my head I’m like “yeah my chess club DESERVES a nice building”

Honestly how bad could that job be if you can do it with a pushbroom

gdi ONE comment and it’s the same joke I was gonna make