It’s not, i’ve got two non-tech friends on my private instance, biggest issue was me nuking wrong folder on server. You just need a good client, i go with Dino for desktop and monocles chat for android. My non-techies are mobile-only and i and my techy friend are on Dino on desktop, only feature it lacked is group calls which i’ve monkeypached with a feature for my bot that generates Jitsi invites.
Depends on country you happen to be in. If it’s Poland or eastern Europe noone will give a damn. If it’s Germany then you might be screwed. If you’re on a good VPN you should be ok even in Germany.