you can’t build a successful relationship without dating and getting to know if you’re a good fit.

yeah, been there too. i could never understand someone who refuses treatment/therapy/medication and then blames someone else for their struggles.

nah it’s multiple dates. it’s also a common attitude that men need to ‘impress’ dates by spending a lot at restaurants otherwise they ‘devalue’ a woman. asking someone out on a cheap date to get to know them isn’t the point… the point is to win them over by spending money on them.

basically a lot of people see dating as prostitution with extra steps. and wonder why they are single.

I taught business ethnics for MBAs when i was in graduate school.

The only ‘ethics’ they learned was ‘maximize shareholder value at any price’. They spent an entire semester learning to to argue why murdering people and abusing people was morally justified as long as the share price goes up. That was the curriculum. Nothing else mattered.

correct. i don’t tolerate delusional people who think they have some special super secret knowledge and are superior to other people based upon it.

that isn’t change, that’s failure to take responsibility for yourself. which makes for a shitty person, and a shitty partner.

hence why most radicalized people are shitty human beings. de-radicalizing requires people to realize they are responsible for their choices, and that the world is not some external force oppressing them.

ok, so no leftists exist. got it. thanks for clarifying.

no. clear empties quality when it comes to water. clear as in transparent.

clear water is good, opaque water is dirty and unsafe.

you are thinking of clear in the sense of space, not water. clear space is empty.

yeah you are. it’s really easy to understand.

the pool was clear before people got married. it clears up again after the first wave of divorces. clear meaning ‘there are desirable people to date’

are you ESL?

sorry, is there a test i can perform on people to know if they are ‘true leftist’?

if not, you should create a ‘leftist testing kit’ like they have for covid so i can bring it on dates and swab them and know in 15 minutes if they are a leftist or not!

I’m not assuming anything. I’m reporting how people behave. If I meet someone who is a middle class job and they are telling me I’m a ‘POS loser’ for not driving car that is worth more than their annual salary, the issue isn’t me. I think my Subaru is pretty dope.

Just go on any dating tiktok or dating advice community. You will find tons and tons of people with these attitudes.

A good chunk of the people I’m talking about identify as leftists.

Your political ideals also have nothing to do with your personal expectations and habits in relationships. Plenty of ‘leftist’ women I have met 100% expect traditional gender roles and aspire to be SAHM. And a lot of leftists I knew in my 20s are now hardcore right wingers now.

Hell half my liberal/leftie graduate school cohort is now support Trump/Republicans.

yeah i grew up rural and by mid twenties all my HS peers were married w/ kids or doing drugs/prison. I was in graduate school on the other side of the country at 25 and marriage kids was a decade away in my mind.

least to i haven’t been back there since i was 19 years old and never kept any HS friends.

IME it’s that the more bad experiences they have, the more they demand an idealized greek god of a person as a partner and think anyone who doesn’t measure up to that fantasy. because it’s not their fault, it’s their partners for not ‘measuring up’ to their ‘standards’.

some of it is good. some social media has great/good advice… but that social media isn’t popular.

because 99% of it is ‘fix your own shit and stop expecting someone else to fix it for you’

what i don’t get is why people married people they knew were awful people, or awful for them.

anytime someone lies, cheats, or steals from me (or shows any disrespect, like verbal/physical abuse) i dump their ass.

nobody has kids at that age in the urban coastal cities. i’m 40 i’ve never dated or met a single mother.

no

speak for yourself. i have found dating as a 30+ adult to be way more dramatic and miserable than it was in my 20s.

nobody in my 20s was having a temper tantrum at dinner because the restaurant isn’t expensive enough for their ‘brand’.

bingo.

gist of most people who are terminally single is they aren’t capable of offering as much as they demand. so for anyone that is a bad deal. a lot of people simple become parasites in a relationship, financially, emotionally, etc. and those parasitic people will never ever admit fault, they will blame the partner they are sucking the life out of that they aren’t ‘giving them enough’.

I was in a few relationships that became soul-sucking. i used to be depressed and suicidal in the past… because I as in relationships that were sucking my soul out. When I broke up, stayed single, and worked on myself… my life had value again and i was no longer depressed and suicidal.

the issue isn’t about experience. it’s about how you treat other people and if you see your partner as a person… rather than a resource to extract things from (money, sex, attention, etc)

As a 35+ would you rather be with someone who’s had bad experiences in relationships, or no experience in relationships?