The commercial is from a time before protein bars.

I think getting a lot of downvotes for this post is actually a win!

Sometimes I wonder if it’s a complete waste of time to think through a post that I’m writing, if only a couple people are going to read it. But then I figure: a) doing so is its own reward: practice putting sentences together, keeping the mind sharp; b) some texts/ideas can be seminal, just as a music band may have very few fans but each of those fans goes on to create their own band; c) contemporary scholars study texts and articles (including ephemera such as handbills) from past decades, so it’s likely that future scholars will trawl and study social media posts from our era, using techniques we can barely imagine. Plus, it’s fun!

If Lemmy had weekly awards, you would win one for this post. The bland, LLM-inspired structure creates a feeling of rising dread until the very end when one is left with the horror of realizing this human (if they can still be called human?) has spent way too long talking only to AIs.

What’s more, the text is not a story or essay submitted as a post; the text only really works AS a post, with its references to Lemmy, Aspect, and SocialAI and contextualized among a stream of posts. The fact that it’s in !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world provides ironic distance, but not so much to prevent it from being read unironically for at least the first couple paragraphs. I don’t know what Aspect and SocialAI are like, but the differences between them and Lemmy that are pointed out in the text creates a picture of a platform that problematizes modern identity and the individual’s role in a society mediated by social media (ha) and AI bots. I bet someone could write a half-decent critical theory research paper expounding on your post. Well done.

Put metal triangle in water. Sinks.

Add more weight. Floats.

Problem?

It’s a pedestrian’s fault. _/s

Unironically these are amazingly cool. Imagine an entire house built in this style.

Expressing the basest of notions with the loftiest of words is the pinnacle of wit.

omfg that’s right, this is microwaved… The FAQ page is like: “Why do your Deep Dish pizzas not include the foil discs anymore?” and “My Deep Dish didn’t cook right in the microwave, am I doing something wrong?” I mean you might as well get a stack of cardboard and soak it in tomato sauce, at that point.

Wow, this looks unappetizing even in the company’s professionally-photographed marketing pages: https://chicagotown.com/the-range/deep-dish

Never heard of this brand before, and they claim to be the “number 1 pizza brand in America”.

The more I look at this pizza, the more I feels bad for the guy in the picture. I’m so sorry your life turned out this way, Cecil.

Prolly Altoona pizza.

Back in the 70s, men’s hair had to be about an inch short. Women were very limited in what kind of jobs they could get, and were regularly groped if not assaulted. LGBT+ were literally considered mentally ill. If you were non-white, no way you could work in an office (except for janitorial maybe.) But yeah, America sure was Great back then… _/s

I’m sure they’ll just add a fine next month: “using residence for unauthorized life event” or “reducing number of occupants without permission” or something.

Maybe he’s in England.

“In some dark corners, this killer is being hailed as a hero. Hear me on this: He is no hero.”

• Josh Shapiro, Governor of Pennsylvania and likely future Democratic presidential candidate

They hire someone to say “sorry” for them, for public relations purposes.

Not to mention scraping all the gunk off the rollers.

Gotta teach Grandma some trigger discipline.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lionel_Messi

Seems like the kind of picture where you’d want to intentionally give the hands too many fingers.